Attack of the 50 Foot Fisto

doodleferp:

So the new Fraggle Rock is fucking hilarious

(via modmad)

one-starry-knight:

weirdwerewolf:

weirdwerewolf:

the little lego men are having gay sex every time you arent looking at them

(via beescream)

whynotfabulous:

daeynore:

whynotfabulous:

thegoodsandy:

whynotfabulous:

babyblueavenger:

whynotfabulous:

mayflydecember:

whynotfabulous:

captain-oh-no-not-again:

whynotfabulous:

treslecheslife:

whynotfabulous:

trashboi413:

whynotfabulous:

marten-blackwood:

whynotfabulous:

gnomer-denois:

whynotfabulous:

whynotfabulous:

In an effort to avoid supporting megacorporations, I shall now be posing questions directly to tumblr that I would otherwise have googled.

If Mayonnaise is just eggs and oil, why it creamy?

Because it’s also evil

Thanks!

Have scientists figured out what dark matter is yet?

Yup! It’s anything that takes up space, has mass, and is goth.

Wow!

What happens if you eat 23 packages of peeps?

You meet god

Thank goodness!

What’s the correct way to eat a banana?

Whole, in one gulp.

Delicious!

Who is the Muffin Man?

Father of the Muffin Boy

Makes sense!

Why is my car making a ker-klunk noise?

Car’s haunted

Uh Oh

How to fix a haunted car?

Slam into a priest in a crosswalk going at least forty miles an hour

It worked!

Where does the wax in scented candles go?

into the sky, where it turns into stars

Cool!

Why are weddings so damn expensive?

priest has to pay for medical bills related to haunted car crashing into him

….Ah

(via modmad)

purple-confusion:

The girls are fighting place your bets

(via beescream)

afloweroutofstone:

Texas’ privatized power system literally cannot handle how effective wind energy has become. The price of electricity went negative around an area producing lots of wind energy earlier this week because the deregulated state grid can’t even effectively bring it over to the neighboring metro area, where electricity prices were high and rising.

I’m pretty sure we know why they weren’t “able” to move that energy over to the higher wholesale markets…

(via beescream)

tigerator:

tigerator:

finally blizzard entertainment has boiled diversity down to a calculable amount. i can now figure out exactly how much a dark skinned brazilian man is worth compared against a gorilla from the moon.

i just think this is extremely funny.

think about it. they’ll never have a queer poc because any character that’s a person of colour will score enough diversity points for them to not see the need to also make them queer. they took the entirety of human experience and turned it into a collection of meters in order to hit quotas. lucio can’t be bisexual because he doesn’t need to be, because he does “enough” by not being white. they didn’t even think about making lucio be bisexual even though he’s a rollerskating dj furry from the future because he brings diversity of “ethnicity” and “culture”. this entire system bases the existence of literally every character around how they compare to a cis white straight able bodied male 30 year old.

this is literally default male deviation female taken to its complete extreme. this is THE most performative wokeness i have EVER seen. i almost wish they weren’t undergoing the 780375802 other scandals that are happening right now so i could focus entirely on making fun of this.

(via maltusianscientist)

zwoelffarben:

gwydionmisha:

ms-demeanor:

No but seriously this is why I think that automatic postal banking along with automatic voter registration should be a thing.

If everyone gets a free bank account on their 18th birthday that means that everyone needs to be issued legal ID and a PO box mailing address on their 18th birthday and has a place that no one is allowed to access their money on their 18th birthday. Do you know how many awful stories there are about teens who were saving up to move out who had their money used by abusive parents because it was in a joint account and they have no recourse because it was equally everyone’s money in the account?

Do you know how overwhelming it can be to try to get a bank account when you don’t have proof of legal residence because you are eighteen years old and your parents never let you have a drivers license or get a job and you don’t pay bills or have a rental agreement? How is an eighteen year old in an abusive household supposed to become financially independent if you need a credit card to get your prepaid phone to function but you can’t get a credit card until you’re 21 and you can’t get a debit card because you can’t get a bank account because your parents won’t let you use your birth certificate to get a state ID or drivers’ license? How is someone supposed to get away from an abusive partner when they need two forms of ID and two forms of proof of address and they get no bills and aren’t on any insurance paperwork or vehicle registration because their partner specifically prevented that?

Fuck that. National system. You go through the post office. Your PO box is through the post office, you bank with the post office, you can apply for an ID and request copies of legal documents through the post office.

Make it impossible to close an account too; that way it’s normal for EVERYONE to have a bank account that is all their own and that nobody else can shut down without a death certificate so you can’t pressure your partner into shutting down a possible escape route.

Is it logistically complicated? Yeah. Would it be expensive? Yeah. Is it more reliance on the state and a system of capitalism than I would prefer? Yeah. But everything fucking sucks so let’s try *something.*

I’d argue for sixteen.  A lot of sixteen year olds have jobs with paychecks and it gives more time to save up for escape.

Brilliant idea.  It would solve so many problems for people in poverty to have this system in place.

You know, we used to have postal banking in the US. It was called the US Postal Savings Service and ran between 1911 and 1967 when lobbying by the banking industry (hating that they had to compete with the public sector) bought enough votes in congresss to shutter the very popular program.

(via alchemylab)

grox:

(via jsup)

anastacialy:

teamaqua:

my mom is helping me job hunt and when i told her my dream job is to sit in one place and sort stuff by color all day she made a really disgusted face and said “you want to work on a fucking assembly line?” like yeah

not to philosophize on your personal post or whatever but this really illustrates the problem with capitalism because there’s literally nothing wrong with working in an assembly line—other than, of course, the way the workers are treated.

you (and me, let’s be honest, because i would love to have a job like that) not only deserve to sort things by color all day but to also be treated with dignity and get paid a thriving wage for that work, and i am so very confused by why that’s a controversial statement.

the best job i ever had was making cushions for packages out of tissue paper. just over and over and over again. i had the best time doing that. it just would have been nice if it wasn’t ten hour shifts without air conditioning or seating.

I think the interesting thing is the implied ‘forever?!’ at the end of Op’s Mom’s statement. 

Like she felt that she was trying to find you a job you stay at and maybe get promoted… but never actually shift to a new line of work after getting a degree or moving to a new city.

(via jsup)