Attack of the 50 Foot Fisto

manslator:

prov-glyph:

katrinaeames:

manslator:

Have you heard of “vocal fry”?  That’s one of the most blatant tricks in the modern woman’s arsenal.  Its a tone style of speaking that sounds like after sex bedroom whispering, and a lot of modern women have shamelessly adopted it into their everyday speaking, because it gives them power.

Manslation: I’m just a lonely-ass dude who reads entirely too much into everything women do because I both desire them and consider them to be soulless manipulation-bots.

Alternate Manslation: Anytime I hear a woman speak I automatically place her into a sexual scenario even when it’s real fucking clear that it’s not appropriate to do.  This is because the only time I think of women having power is when a man transfers his power to her through sex. 

Bitches be trippin. I always wonder: do these people think superfluous profanity when delineating their schoolmarm bylaws makes them sound tough (real fucking clear, oooh I’m scared lol), or do they think that acting hysterical is somehow noble?

N E waj, manipulative vocal fry is my #1 least-favorite aspect of working with women, as I get this shit all the time from the two older women who work in my lab, usually accompanied by a condescending “honey” or “sweetie.” This isn’t how adults should speak to one another, but I guess it’s just a sign that I need to work harder to find myself placed among a better class of person. “Le sigh”, I guess.

Still, there has to be a social tactic to counteract this bull (without causing tension or hostility, of course, heh). The man who has that practically has the keys to the world!

Manslation: I’m going to call you a bitch and then criticize you for “superfluous profanity.” I’m going to say you’re acting “hysterical,” when I’m the one writing a multi-paragraph response about poor lil’ ol’ me being so cruelly victimized by the societal menace that is women’s vocal fry, except I evidently have no idea what vocal fry is and all I’ve done is embarrass myself. Le sigh…………………